Let the high times fly and the good times roll.

Insecurities Are A Fascinating Malady, Seemingly Shared By All Species Of Animal.  This Sense Of Deficiency. Lacking Qualities For Survival Both Social & Physical.  The Inherent Knowledge Of Who Is The Prey & Who Is The Predator.  The Dominant & The Submissive.  Life As A Series Of Power Struggles, Played Out In The Gravitational Forces Of The Cosmos, As Well As The Bio-Mechanical Warlike Processes Of Bacterium, Within.
 
Fighting Is Ubiquitous.  But It Is Human Who Has Taken Fear To A New Level, Who Wears It Like A Deformity, Convincing Itself Of It's Own Inferiority.  So We End Up With Select Individuals Thieving Our Sense Of Worth, Using Our Weaknesses As Weapons Against Us.  And We Lie Awake, At Night, Suffocating On Our Own Tongues Reluctance To Speak Up.  Sleepless Hours Filled With Inadequacy.
 
But The Worst Of All, Is This Acceptance, That It Can Never Change, That One Is Sentenced To A Particular Station In Life, A Certain Class Of Experience.  To Determine One's Own Unfortunate Outcome, Before The First Step Is Taken.  Failure In The Heart Of The Self.
 
Insecurities Are FACT, Sometimes Even A Necessary Warning, In The Prevention Of Harm, But In Know Ways Are They A Constant.  A Life-Long Predicament.
 
They Are But Challenges Begging To Be Overcome.  And, Perhaps (Who Knows), Maybe Even THE PURPOSE, Of This Whole "Being" Thing, Itself.

Movies : The land before time, Shawshank Redemption, Requiem for a Dream


Outings : Restaurants, Hills and Mountains, Beach


Meats : Lamb, beef…  Medium-rare, Pork, Chicken


Meals : Longanisa,Shrimp(anti-allergy needed),Lumpiang Shanghai,Brocoli


Deserts : Mousse, angel cake with wipped cream, Belgian Waffle


Fruits : Mango, watermelon, pineaple, Dalandan, Pomelo


Season : Taglamig


Drink : Milk, Beer, Vodka


I like to : go on trips, sing, do movie/TV marathon


Colors : black, white


House pets : Dog, cat, chicken


Flowers : Rose


I would like to visit : Reykjavík, Wellington, Amsterdam, Coelho de Rocha


Music : RnB, dance music, Alternative


Idol : Prince


Artists :  chicane, incubus, blondie, jamiroquai, the script, coldplay, bob marley, utada hikaru,norah jones, sia, goldfrapp, britney spears, deftones, radiohead,no doubt,  jay-z, jason mraz, 311, beatles, pink floyd, ac/dc, spandau ballet, Bjork, n.e.r.d.


Songs : Grace, When I think of you, Fast Love, Aqueous Transmission


Actor : Mel Gibson, Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, John Travolta


Actress : Natalie Portman, Angelina Jolie, Keira Knightley


Causes : animal rights, environmental


Ice-cream : Chocolat, pistachio, mango


Tv show : CSI, Heroes


Saying : Be grateful for what you have, stop worrying about what you wish you had


Precious to me : Friends and family


Tree : Willow, Palm tree, Coconut


City or country: Country


Salt or pepper : Salt


Sweet or sour : Sweet


Hot or cold : hot


Despise : Lies, unfaithfullness


Love: Honesty


Admir : Oprah


Deepest desire : Make lots of money to spoil my parents


Convictions: do good and be the best

Having no school and no work for almost half a year already really left me nothing to do at home but to eat, sleep and watch movies! here are some of the flicks i have in my iPod that i might or might not recommend. Popcorn?

just so you know, the ratings are all just based from my taste. deal with it

The Bucket List

The story is quite predictable, but I still enjoyed it. Never mind how impossible the storyline is because it is a great movie about friendship - how two men become great friends in a short time and help each other out throughout the time they are together. It moves along at a smooth pace and I never got bored, so the writer gets credit for that. The acting was top notch as Nicholson and Freeman draw forth the right emotion in the audience at the right time. The emotional parts are done just right, but the funny scenes are the best. I laughed throughout the movie but not as much as I would in a true comedy movie, but the comic scenes in this one really work and Nicholson is the "main man" in them. It does have a message at the end about how you should live your life to the fullest, how your family is important, and how you should be happy in life and the movie delivers that message perfectly. 7.7/10


The Other Boleyn Girl

Overall, the movie is entertaining. I thought the acting was good, particularly Scarlett Johansson's. The cinematography and editing leave much to be desired, and the entire movie seems rushed. If you have any knowledge of Tudor history,you will recognize the many inaccuracies, but who gives a shit. I don't know a thing about their history but I was entertained. People are bitching about the movie being inaccurate I don't know, you want accurate, watch American Idol. 7.9/10


The Mist

Stephen King's original story captured the minds and imaginations of hundreds of thousands of people, including mine, with the thought of monsters in a mist. You're being attacked by monsters, you know that. But what do these monsters look like? You can't see an inch in front of your face in the mist. In Frank Darabont's 'The Mist', we find ourselves locked inside of a grocery store with about 20 or 30 other people. And there's a catch...
You can't leave, or else you will die. 7.3/10


Atonement

Who knew that something so simple could develop into a monstrous misunderstanding that changes the entire outcome of things... This is a very different film, and it does things in a way that makes you question why, but by the end it leaves you thinking why not. While parts of it may be confusing, everything becomes clear by the end. The ending is simply marvelous. I've never seen anything quite like it. You would like to think that it's complete, but after what has happened it can never be. There is humor. There is mystery. There is romance. There are twists and turns, and there is heartbreak.I just love it. 8.8/10


Memento

An original idea, an amazing film. This film goes beyond any Drama or Crime Thriller story. It's about a man, Lenny. He's got a short-term memory condition. The film is well edited in the way you follow the story with more meaning to it. The film is presented backwards. It truly fits the story, great overall cinematography. Lenny's life is pretty much twisted, as his memory is weak and he has to depend on his notes and tattoos. It's hard to talk about this film with detail, as it will spoil the film. It must be seen. 7.8/10


Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

I am not a type of person who likes Tim Burton films and I have rarely seen ones(Most of them were starring by Depp). However, this film is different, it is a combination of Comedy, Thriller, musical, Drama and tragedy film. And it is well enough to be watched again and again without boring. The music is impressively wonderful. It fulfills all the meaning of what they want to say and also the emotion. The voice of Depp is good and compared to the stage play(without bias indeed) I think he can show more appropriate feeling of the songs. Everyone else's singing is great, too, ohhh Mrs. Lovett's. Her voice is quite thin and makes the songs less sweet, but still acceptable and i still love her character. And it is good to shorten the songs, or else they would be too long and I would have been boring like some other musical film. The humor of the film is fabulous especially the contest scene. The performance of all the actors is good and I am not surprise to see Depp in the list of Oscar's nominee though I do not expected him to get that award. In conclusion, this is an enjoyable film, good enough to see it twice. Indeed the worst pies in London! 8.4/10


There Will Be Blood

There Will Be Greed. There Will Be Vengeance. 'There Will Be Blood'. There's no easy way to approach this movie, it's about as unsettling and disturbing as they come. With piercing subtlety, this haunting epic takes us to a dark place exploring business, religion, and above all else, greed. Completely enthralling and one of this year's most ambitious pictures, 'There Will Be Blood' is a near masterpiece that gives us perhaps the greatest performance we've seen in years. 8.0/10


No Country for Old Men

Something to bear in mind is this is not an action film. Go into it expecting something more along the lines of Seven or Silence of the Lambs. This film will leave a lot of questions in your mind and it won't spoon feed you the answers. You are expected to think and come up with some of your own conclusions. And you won't necessarily be happy with them (for some reason). Overall though, this is just a great suspense-thriller with some of the best dialog I've heard in years. Anton Chigurh is easily a top 5 on screen villain. It will keep you thinking with you for days if you let it. 8.3/10


The Departed

My first impression of this movie from trailers was that it should be good mostly due to the impressive resume of the cast...and after watching it i think this was pretty spot on. A really good movie with in my opinion a superb cast, and i have to say i thought Mark Whalberg really made the film that much better and he really made me laugh (in a good way) Though without spoiling any of the story line i would have to say that anyone who doesn't like violence and some "bloody" bits may not be too keen, though its not overly gory or anything just quite violent, as you would expect from this type of "ganster style film". I would recommend this movie to anyone who appreciates a good storyline and good performances from some of the best in Hollywood. 7.8/10


Running Scared

This was a fast paced movie, with lots of strange twists. There was a wide array of characters, so pay attention. It all adds up in the end. I was trying to think of a movie like this one to compare, but I don't think there was one. I especially enjoyed the boy character, Oleg in this film. He did a great job even with being so young. There were a few times where you are totally like...OHHHH HURRY HURRY!! at the screen, which adds to the allure of the movie. Paul walker is nice to look at and his acting skills seem to have improved since fast and furious days, that's for sure. So, grab the popcorn, the boyfriend (or girlfriend) and hit the flicks. One thing though - Don't get up and go to the bathroom as you may miss out on something. 8.5/10


The Shawshank Redemption

Shit it's beautiful! This movie has to be one of the very best films i've seen in my lifetime. I am usually not that fond of drama films but the portrayal of the characters and the amazing script made it a perfect translation from the Stephen King book. Morgan Freeman gives one of his best performances in this movie and actually makes you believe him as a jail smuggler, better than Chris Rock in the Longest Yard ever did. The cinematography is brilliant showing the sheer scale of this old decaying prison. The movie may not have received any Academy Awards (the show was stolen by Forrest Gump that year) but it still remains to be one of the best films around. If your looking for a deeper movie more than you're typical action flick, this will provide what you were looking for. Go out and watch it, heck go and buy it because you'll want to watch it time and time again. 9.0/10

Stolen from my friend who has chosen to remain Anonymous. She didn't actually tag me (or anybody else), but I thought it was a good one and decided to do my version.
Anyway, let's get on with it.

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say To Ten Different People Right Now


1. You're the best (platonic) friend I have ever had, and the fucked up part about that is that I've known you the least amount of time. You went far out of your way to help me out a lot when you hardly even knew me, and nobody else has ever really done that for me before you did. You're by far one of the most kick ass chicks I've ever met, and I have so much respect and admiration for you. You handle your pregnancy very well and it makes me almost not terrified of parenthood.
Congratulations again.
You're the shit.

2. I think it's great that you can confide in me, and I'm happy that you have been able to admit some of your darkest secrets out loud. It's heartening to know that you can acknowledge them, especially to yourself. I really admire that, and I know how much you must be struggling with it. I will never betray your trust, or use those secrets against you. I do wish you would do more to improve your situation, though. Now I know that you understand the dangers of your circumstances, and that you have failed to make the right choices. Please do the right thing. And if you ever need help to do that, I will help you to the best of my ability.
God knows you will need it. You deserve better.
(P.S. Please stop mispronouncing every proper name you say. I hate the way it makes me grit my teeth.)

3. I am slightly disturbed by what you've chosen to do with your life. It has made me realize that, after years of being so close, you've become someone that I don't know at all. But I think that you've done something that is respectable, and I acknowledge you for it. I just thank my lucky stars that I didn't go there with you. Or...stay there with you, as it were.

4. Jesus, you're a cunt. I cannot begin to describe the relief I feel in the knowledge that I won't have to see you for the next three weeks. Your jealousy is not a valid excuse to be a bitch to me under these pretexts, and the hardships you're facing do not excuse your deplorable behavior. I cannot believe that someone of such advanced years would act like such a child. You are by far the oldest 14-year-old I have ever met. I cannot wait until you get your comeuppance.

5. Please get your shit together. You're going to hurt yourself, or someone else. And please stop lying and manipulating. None of us are as stupid as you seem to believe we are. And, even after all of the bullshit, we all care. So, again, please get your shit together.

6. I'm disappointed. I'm not surprised, but I'm disappointed. You made a commitment, and a minimal one at that. You know damn well your reasoning and logic are full of holes and inconsistencies, and that really you're just too apathetic to take responsibility. I think that it's important that you understand the repercussions of your decision...or, lack of one, as it were. Please reflect on that, in earnest.

7. The power to reproduce does not define the strength or worth of women. Please stop treating females as if that's all they've got going for them. We can all do it naturally. Yes, it takes work to be a mother, I've just acknowledged that above, but some of us have other valuable aspirations, too.

8. I miss you... *muah*

9. Thank you so much for everything you are trying to do for all of us. I cannot even express how much I admire you, and how supportive I am of your causes. You're a wonderful inspiration, and I have so much hope because of you. Even in the face of great adversity you are remarkably poised, and your intellect is comforting. I am on your side, all the way.

10. Uhm, about the sex toys in the bedroom that I saw when I was there fixing your PS3, I really can't get it off my head.

I read an article today about two conservative radio hosts in a radio show who said that Magic Johnson faked having AIDS. Well….that is one way to get your name mentioned nationally. Why would someone fake that? And if he did….would it really be such a bad thing? Magic was the first loved athlete to come out and say, “Hey I have HIV….no, I am not gay and so this should be a lesson to all that anyone can get it.” I was never a Lakers fan but I respected Magic’s abilities as an athlete. I respected him more for coming out and saying that he had made some serious mistakes in his life and marriage and now it had cost him dearly. He did not try to hide it, or just give up on life when he found out.

The radio hosts made the comments due after talking about how people could learn to live with Diabetes and have a long life. One then said, “Like Magic.” And the other said, “Yes, like Magic Johnson and his faked AIDS.” Was he trying to be funny? Wouldn’t you save those jokes for your friends and not a regional audience? Are your ratings that bad that you need bad press to try and get some press?

But let me do my thing here….

Let’s say Magic faked AIDS/HIV. Wouldn’t that be one of the biggest sacrifices a person can make? Willingly become the target for millions of people who were ignorant of the virus at the time. Not really being welcome in the sport he once dominated. Instead of just being known for all he did on the court he would now be synonymous with his off court activities. He then was the “Ambassador” for AIDS/HIV awareness. The average person became interested in finding out how a heterosexual man was able to contract a virus that only homosexuals contracted.A star had something meant for those on the fringe of society. I think his achievements after his “announcement” were far more valuable to the world than anything he did on a basketball court. And if he faked all this….well…..um…..I should thank him. He opened my eyes to something we should all have paid attention from the start.

He faked it….yeah, right.

I am the moon across the sunlit sky,
By chance it will eclipse your heart
Don't be relieved or elated
At the speed of thought it dissipates

In the evening, we convene
the journeys distinct in paths
you might remember,
but perhaps it best your
memory fade of the blaze when
we once met

1. People asking why I'm in a bad mood when I'm not.

2. Chewing gum stuck places other than the trash can.

3. People that complain about everything(yeah,I do suppose that's me right now but whatever)

4. Going to the kitchen to get something to eat or drink only to find that someone else has already had it.

5. Always being asked where stuff is even if I never had it.

6. Gas prices of course!

7. Items are getting more expensive, but package sizes / servings are getting smaller.

8. Containers that get put back in cabinets / refrigerator empty.

9. Inconsiderate people and Selfish bitches.

10. Getting all the way home with your to-go order and finding out its WRONG

I think nowadays, (real) men are turning into something... i dunno... socially unclassifiable?!

This got me thinking about several of my (real) guy friends and I came to this conclusion:

1.They play basketball but they read literature

2.They love music but don't do drugs, dress like a rock star or have long filthy hair

3.They are emotionally connected but they don't wear make up, dress in black clothes or participate in acts of deliberate self-harm

4.They love to drink beer but are not sexist and they don't shoot our native animals.

5.They work out but are not of Italian, Greek or Lebanese descent and don't spend three hours a day at the gym.

6.They are hygienic and moisturise their skin but they don't own a hair straightener or use product everyday.


Are they, therefore, some hybrid breed of male? I know what they are not - they not jocks, they are not emos, they are not a rockstars, they are not a gym junkies, rednecks or bogans, they are not metrosexual or homosexual.

Is the rest of the male kind this confused - or is it just them? Whilst I am aware that these are stereotypes, as a society we do brand people to define social groups…do these stereotypes even exist anymore?

wachathink?

I'm sorry, but I want to talk about men that produce, and then they don't produce. It's a sad thing.

I've known this guy that is a friend of mine that had a baby with this girl. Now, as a person, I like this girl. I think she is a good girl.

I also like my friend. He says some of the craziest shit sometimes; he says shit that doesn't even make sense sometimes. But he's got a good heart, he just drinks a LOT, and he can't handle his liquor. He has always been this way.

I saw my friend when his girl was pregnant. He was happy. And more importantly, he was on a path for a career in software. He was responsible, and he was trying. He was doing it right, other than the drinking.

My beef is that my friend was just stupid when he drank, not like violent, or anything. But she changed her mind and left. And she was rather hostile

When you bring a child into the world, you should always guide it. What better way can there be to realistically change the world, but through your children? If you're a male and you have a child out there that you're not preparing for life, you're not a man by me.

I've heard theories that running away is the right thing to do, if that is what makes you happy. That you should be true to yourself. That is selfish. That is wrong. At least, it is in my eyes.

Nothing that's worth having comes without work. There are no get rich quick schemes. We can only change that which is directly all around us. What better way, than through the kids? When you have a kid and you don't get to know them, then you have missed a special life-changing moment.

I know some people might not be able to have children, and if they want children, I hope I'm not offending. I'm just saying that children often make us into better people. They bring us back to innocent times, when we were naive and gullible. And they challenge us to get ahead of our game. And if you have a child that you don't know, it is worth the effort to change that. And if you're the child, while it might not be easy, we should try to forgive.

We only live once, and people make mistakes, too.

And now it's time to talk about that other thing that everyone relates to.

This was spurred by a conversation I had with a friend, over the things that each person wants to hide. Too often we get caught up in thinking we're the only ones to hold up and maintain a facade, that careful thing we hide behind to mask insecurity.

Some of us hide things like self-consciousness, or the feeling of not appearing credible, or the fear of letting people down, or covering up emotion. And though letting go seems the logical option something like an insecurity doesn't just go away. There's no real way to talk yourself out of a method of behavior if it's something you've grown up with--not unless it's a steady, torturous process that you're willing to undertake. And even then--how do you rid yourself of an insecurity? Do you grow out of it?

I have a feeling that even if a person were to slave away attempting to achieve a method of thinking when something's been engraved in their heads since they were a kid, the end result would not be as powerful as you might think. Things like self-confidence are so-called "natural" feelings; they're supposed to come naturally, not something you earn. Say you're worried about the way you look. You diet, hard, and you exercise harder. You fight for every single lost pound, every muscle, and then at the very end you find that even if you have it you don't achieve the self-confidence that was supposed to come with it. You may still end up critical of yourself, over something, anything.

Observing, it's funny how many different methods people use for covering up. One person I know acts out in the strangest ways, seemingly sporadically, just because she feels invisible to the people she craves attention from. Another uses the most simple one: lying, for a variety of purposes, until it became so huge that life inevitably caught up to her. Another clams up entirely so as to not give anything away. Another is an outrageous flirt, used for the more obvious reason: to feel liked, loved, or wanted. Yet another, surprisingly, uses humor and a false cheerfulness to give the impression that he can be trusted in business.

In a way, the last one has a point; being depressed makes a person come across as emotionally insecure, and therefore not a person to place faith in until they're more stable. Still, it's just another way of masking unhappiness. It's admittedly a relief to consider these, because with so many different examples it makes my own "problems" seem so small. It looks like I have it pretty good compared to some others.

You can see yourself as one of these, if not more than one of these. I suppose that's the purpose of some of my blogs: to challenge you, to make you really look. No intended effect, just an encouragement towards a little introspection. It's my way of confessing my inner thoughts with an additional objective.

A question here:
Do you think it's possible for someone to manipulate another person and have noble intentions? Even if the intentions are good, is it still always wrong to manipulate? Say you're attempting to protect someone's feelings, so you play your cards right to make them feel less strongly than they had so they're not hurt. Is that wrong? I do it all the time, but mostly to get myself out of messes I put myself into. What, then, makes it right or wrong?

That one I actually really would like an answer, so comment or message me if you've got a few spare minutes. I'd appreciate it :)